"Good" is *Blah*: The Case for Descriptive Praise

The ubiquitous "Good job!" might as well be the unofficial slogan of child-rearing. But what if I told you this phrase is about as useful as a chocolate teapot when it comes to fostering your child's development?

“Good" is the linguistic equivalent of a participation trophy. It tells a child they've met a standard of approval, but offers zero insight into what they've actually accomplished.

Instead of this vague pat on the back, consider unleashing the power of descriptive praise. Rather than a simple "good drawing," try "I love how you used so many bright colors in your picture!" This approach not only validates the child's efforts but also highlights specific aspects of their achievement.

Dr. Carol Dweck, a renowned psychologist at Stanford University, emphasizes the importance of process praise: "Praising children's intelligence or talent, tempting as it is, can backfire. Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control."

By using more precise and process-oriented language, we're not filling the air with empty platitudes and strengthening our children’s need for approval the way that “good job” does. Instead, we’re building a child's vocabulary, enhancing their understanding of the world, and boosting their self-awareness. Instead of "good behavior," try "I noticed how patiently you waited your turn." Rather than "good job cleaning," consider "Wow, you've organized your toys so neatly!"

This shift in language can have profound effects. It encourages children to reflect on their actions, fosters a growth mindset, and helps them develop a more nuanced understanding of their own abilities and efforts.

So let's bid farewell to the bland "good" and embrace the rich tapestry of descriptive language. Your children's linguistic and emotional development will thank you. And who knows? You might even expand your own vocabulary in the process. Now wouldn't that be... better than good?